The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Friday, December 31, 2004

News 2020

Three times winner of the Guardian Media Group Award for Nuance

Britain is leading the drive to send aid to countries struck by the recent earthquake in south-east Asia. Over 70 Britons and 100,000 other persons are now known to have perished in the disaster. Millions have been left homeless or without adequate holiday accommodation.

The British government has pledged a whopping fifty million pounds in aid. This is equivalent to the cost of a dozen cruise missiles, or nearly a tenth of the profits expected from the anticipated reconstruction bonanza, for which several British companies have already put in bids.

The leader of the opposition, Boris Johnson, has expressed sympathy for those who lost their holiday homes or loved ones in the disaster, but said that more should be done to link financial aid to practical and compassionate preventive measures, such as adequate military provision and the privatisation of water supplies.

"You cannot expect to help these problems simply by throwing money at them willy-nilly," Mr Johnson said. "In order to be effective, aid must be appropriately targeted and properly monitored, and the natives must be given the chance to earn it with pride, dignity and entrepreneurial instinct intact."

The International Development Minister, Clare Kurtz, thanked Mr Johnson for his helpful remarks and added that Indonesia would be temporarily relieved of part of its debt to Britain so as to facilitate a humanitarian intervention in East Timor.

East Timor has a long history of violence and financial problems, which have been exacerbated by the effects of the earthquake. Indonesia has offered to send in troops to restore order, rescue children and get kittens down from trees, but says it cannot afford to provide an effective force. Ms Kurtz said she hoped the debt relief would expedite the rescue mission. The Indonesian ambassador had already assured her that the Timorese would be happy to pay the costs of the intervention, she added.

Later, the Prime Minister said that he hoped other countries would "stop dragging their feet" and follow the British government's example, which has already been publicly praised by at least two pop singers.

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