The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

The Satanic Supplement

Adoration,n. Passionate ignorance.

Deify,v.t. To turn someone into a god. The ancient Romans did this several times with living Emperors, and on a regular basis with dead ones. Whether any of the latter felt themselves adequately compensated has not been reliably recorded.

Grub,n. Immature form of several varieties of insect, with the exception of the money-grub, which is the mature form of mankind.

Logic,n. A train of reasoning whose journey terminates at your own opinion.

Morbid,adj. Addicted to suffering and death even where neither is likely to prove of financial benefit.

Optimism,n. Socially acceptable face of complacency.
I know a fine pig who can fly;
Politicians cannot tell a lie;
And rocks do not fall,
And love conquers all;
Life's a puppy dog, then you don't die.
Rev. Wibley Beamish


Prime Minister,n. The leading problem of cabinet government; in the United Kingdom, the serving ambassador for the government of the United States.

Seduction,n. Successful concealment of one's true nature until the following morning.

Tuckle,n. That part of a garment which ought to be tucked inside another garment.
The tip of her tongue protruded ever so slightly from between her lips, a mischievous tuckle.
Xanthe Blodgett


Umbrella,n. Ostensibly a protection from the rain; actually a malign instrument for the performing of impromptu eye amputations upon one's fellow pedestrians.

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