The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

News 2020

Honorary doctorate for controversial TV presenter

Oxbridge BMW University is standing by its controversial decision to award an honorary doctorate to Jiminy Claxon, the controversial presenter of the BBC's controversial Road Rage programme.

Mr Claxon, who also writes columns for the Sun and Rupert on Sunday, is known for his controversial views on many topics, including cyclists, health and safety experts and hills.

His controversial description of ramblers as "urban Islamofascists" last year prompted a public outcry. The Government responded promptly, by drafting new legislation to ban all conurbation-oriented human resources from unauthorised rustication.

However, the law has not yet come into effect, and the Opposition has criticised the Government and Mr Claxon for failing to cause sufficient panic on the issue.

"There are far too few so-called ramblers who are insufficiently inclined to stay at home, lock their doors and give thanks to the shade of Winston Churchill," the NuLibCon Alliance leader, Boris Johnson, said.

Mr Claxon has also been criticised for saying that man-made global warming is a good thing when, according to the Government-sponsored Society for Ecological and Environmental Positivity, man-made global warming is a myth put about by would-be extremist disruptors of the Happy Children Free Trade Agreements.

Nevertheless, Oxbridge BMW said today that Mr Claxon's honorary doctorate would be awarded, "no matter how noisy or humourless the opposition", in recognition of his support of British technology and his contribution to learning and society.

A BBC spokesperson said of Mr Claxon, "He has something to say about almost everything. Humour and lively debate are the hallmarks of Road Rage."

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