The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

News 2020

Government denies lack of terror links

Many of the terrorist terror attacks with which terrorists have terrorised Britain in the years since terrorists attacked the United States on 11 September 2001 are not linked, according to a new report.

The report claims that no links have been uncovered between the various terrorist cells of terrorists who carried out various terrorist attacks during the past few years.

The Government was quick to discount the report's conclusions, on the basis that they do not fit the Government's conclusions.

"We know that a small number of very evil people are behind these terrorist attacks," the Prime Minister said today. "To claim that they are not organised is ridiculous."

The report claims that the terrorist attacks have been carried out by a number of small and separate terrorist groups operating without the overarching leadership of a single overarching terrorist.

However, the Ministry of Terror Prevention and Self-Defence Industry Efficiency said that there was evidence that several dozen "preachers of hate" in the country could be terrorist leaders.

"There are plenty of high-profile bad imams who have beards and missing body parts and who could easily be terroristic terrorist masterminds of terror," a spokesperson said.

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