The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Friday, December 30, 2005

News 2020

Vocalisation deregulation proposal potential confirmed

The Prime Minister will open a new front in the war on disrespect next month with the announcement of an aggressive campaign to clean up the British language.

"The British language has for too long been debased by improper utilisation and the chronic incivilitude of a sixties-influenced mentality of moral laxity," said culture minister Victoria Beckham.

"It is absurd that the country which originated literary solutions such as Shakespeare, Milton, Joyce and Jeffrey Archer should be forced to put up with less than the best possible linguistic resources," she continued.

Following on from the up-freeing and streamlining of internet space, the Prime Minister is expected to announce a radical package of deregulation for spoken conversations in an effort to enhance the altitudification of the country's vocalisation standards.

"If the Government has the guts to stay the course and see it through, this has the potential to be a very encouraging development," said media expert Bradley Ichneumon.

"The successful deregulation of internet and email facilities resulted in the almost total elimination of material which could conceivably cause offence to anyone," continued Dr Ichneumon.

"Prevention of inappropriate vocalisation between human resources would seem to be the next step on the ladder to properly managed free speech."

The soon-to-be-packaged package of measures is thought to be potentially inclusive of numerous measures of considerable radicality and tough new powers of community building mechanisms for renewal of global potential for helping responsibility towards freedom of market for adaptation to the dynamicity of the Prime Minister's vision of the new rules of the game.

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