The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Blood and Sheep

The undisputed heavyweight captain of George W Bush's main Middle East missile base is "unlikely to return to work", according to the doctors treating him for the severe stroke he suffered yesterday. It is doubtful whether Mr Sharon has as much blood in his brain as he has on his hands, but his condition has still, according to his deputy, placed Israel in "a difficult situation that we are not accustomed to". Presumably the difficult situation will, until further notice, be the standard excuse for any shootings, flattenings, arrests or illegal fence-building which may happen to impinge upon the tender Western conscience.

George W Bush kept to his usual semantic standards by calling Mr Sharon "a man of courage and peace", while the grey thing that serves Britain in place of a foreign secretary was quick to roll out a glowing pre-mortem obituary on BBC radio. "This man is a man not only of great political courage but of astonishing physical courage and resilience as well," Straw gushed during a visit to the city of Sabra and Shatila. Praising the "extraordinarily courageous and imaginative steps" Mr Sharon has taken to "withdraw Israel unilaterally" from territories to which Israel has no right, the stuffed suit said that "the effect he's already had is astonishing and I think it will be long-lasting, whenever it comes to an end." But George and Laura Bush are praying, so it seems unlikely the end will come any time soon.

Mr Sharon has "earned respect from all sides of the political spectrum", thanks to his "groundbreaking plan" for a Palestinian bantustan whose borders, airspace, foreign policy and water would be under the control of Israel. Those infra-red leftists and ultra-violent Arabs who find such a policy contemptible are, of course, not part of the political spectrum; but someone towards the blue end told the Murdoch Times: "Even though he did difficult things, the people love him ... I don’t know what will happen now. ... It will be very difficult for people without a shepherd." It will be especially difficult for those who cannot distinguish a shepherd from a butcher.

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