The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

The Hollow Drone

I knew it. When I saw the words "unmanned drone" in this report, it was obvious that a member of the British government was at large in Iraq. The drone in question had discovered some men digging a hole. Members of the British government are attracted to holes. Indeed, many of their best friends are holes, and some high-ranking ministers bid fair to be holes themselves.

However, it isn't the Prime Minister but his foreign secretary who is in Iraq, "meeting Iraqi political leaders to press them to form a broad-based unity government". Tony, George and some other nice people have decided that a broad-based unity government is what Iraq needs. Furthermore, according to the grey suit, "All Iraqi politicians know in their head, if not quite in their heart yet, this has to be the future for Iraq." That's why the foreign secretary is in Baghdad, you see, to guide the natives' hearts into unison with their minds and ensure that there is no backsliding.

"It is very difficult," the Foreign Office vacancy told the BBC. Nevertheless, "At the same time, and this is not contradictory, I'm struck by the continued optimism I meet in most Iraqi politicians with whom I have discussions." If he is talking to Ahmad Chalabi, currently acting minister for oil profiteering, this may not be as surprising as it sounds.

The sovereign, independent, elected Iraqi leaders "expressed their determination to see the Iraqi security forces continue to be strengthened, to fight this terrorism themselves," according to the nonentity. Thanks to our benign guidance - after all, "there is now very great day-to-day, hour-to-hour, co-operation between the coalition commanders and Iraqi commanders in very many of provinces" - the real fight for peace, freedom and petroleum can begin. Now the real Iraqis can at last start dealing with the people Tony and George don't like.

The lack also noted that Iraqi leaders had "pointed out that the terrorists were now targeting all sections of their divided society." Apparently this too proves that there are grounds for optimism, perhaps because the broad-based nationalist unity of the terrorists may one day facilitate the formation of a broad-based government of national unity.

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