The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Gas Leak

According to the Press Association "Consumer groups have reacted angrily to a claim that gas bills are about to leap by 25%". This is called democracy in action. A "senior British Gas source" is quoted in the Mail on Sunday rant-rag as saying the increase "would be between 22% and 25%, more than 10 times the rate of inflation". The increase is "thought to be the biggest single increase ever", British Gas being traditionally so competent with its figures that no one can tell for certain.

Energywatch, which is an energy watchdog, said that "if there were such an increase, it would expect consumers to leave British Gas". This is called consumer choice. However, "other power companies are certain to follow suit, and the rises will affect gas and electricity prices equally" because "all suppliers are buying their gas in the same market". This is called healthy competition.

Another possibility is that British Gas are frightening their poorer consumers with deniability-positive leaks about a 22% price hike ("we haven't said anything about timing or scale of an increase") so that an eventual hike of only seven or eight times the rate of inflation will be met with relief rather than outrage. This is called consumer relations.

Directors have "agonised about taking the decision because they know it is going to hurt everybody". This is called the human touch. "But the harsh reality is we have no choice." This is called taking responsibility. You think you've got troubles? Britain's boardrooms are filled with agonising directors. Next time you turn on your heating, just you think about that.

Age Concern warned that "rising fuel costs meant older people on fixed incomes would struggle more than ever to keep warm." Fortunately, older people on fixed incomes are not a particularly reliable source of revenue. Indeed, in many cases their incomes are provided by the Government, which is to say the taxpayer. Hence, the possibility that the price increase "could mean an increase in deaths" is presumably called something like disposable consumer attrition.

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