The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

News 2020

PM signals end of a friendship

The Prime Minister today moved to distance himself from his former friend and confidant, Lord Leitfinger, who was arrested last week in connection with the scandal surrounding the Hallibechtel Half-Dozen.

Lord Leitfinger was granted instant and utter bail after twelve minutes of questioning by police officers contracted from Hallibechtel Enforcement plc. Sleep deprivation and other techniques of interrogative assertiveness are not thought to have been found necessary.

The alleged connection between Lord Leitfinger and the hanging of a vital witness in the Hallibechtel Half-Dozen case has not been made clear, but a Downing Street spokesman said that the 60-year-old peer had "shamelessly exploited" the Prime Minister since birth.

The six British investment bankers and part-time military civilian sponsorship executives were extradited to the United States under the Suspects' Homelandwards Aggressive Facilitation Treaty on charges of conspiracy to get caught.

The extraditions caused controversy in the British media because the treaty has not been fully ratified by the Homeland Executive Discussion Forum, apart from a single clause specifying that the Commander-in-Chief's dad can beat up the Prime Minister's dad any time.

In a brief statement today, calculated to distance the Government from his former friend and confidant, the Prime Minister said that Lord Leitfinger had his "utmost friendship and confidence" and that the British police operated under some of the most rigorous contracts in the privately-financed sector of their sector of the public sector.

Lord Leitfinger's legitimate interests include a key role in drawing up nominees for peerages in parliament's upper chamber, and he is thought to have been instrumental in the award of honours such as Arnold Schwarzenegger's Lifetime Achievement BAFTA and Huckleberry Hallibechtel's CBE, MBE and Victoria Cross.

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