The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Human Resources

Next March, the rump of the British Empire will congratulate itself on the abolition of the slave trade in 1807, no doubt with much tolerant head-shaking over the tardiness of Britain's rivals in following our glittering example. The condition of slavery was abolished a quarter of a century later, in 1833, as the effects of the Industrial Revolution made it apparent that landlords and manufactory owners could impose far more economically viable conditions upon "free" tenants and workers than were dreamed of by the most efficient slave-drivers.

The Vicar of Downing Street's press decoy, John Prescott, will soon be chairing a meeting of the committee charged with preparing for the celebration of national virtue. It is expected that one of the topics under discussion will be "proposals for a statement of regret" at Britain's part in the slave trade, which killed perhaps twenty million Africans over the course of three and a half centuries. A formal apology has already been ruled out; if Britain had not taken part in the slave trade, after all, there would now be no opportunity for Africans to be grateful for its abolition.

Since the "statement of regret", if made at all, will receive a full five months' polishing, no doubt it will be a masterpiece of New Labour historicity. In the midst of our pride in our Britishness and our determination to stop apologising for the past, we shall be given to understand that although it is deeply regrettable that some people feel that the economic complexities of the situation at the time did not altogether justify the activities of certain sections of the entrepreneurial community, nevertheless, in the interests of balance, it is necessary to emphasise that the decrease in population caused by what is now emotively referred to as the slave trade (rather than, say, "economic reallocation of selected human resources") may well have led to a rise in living standards for those Africans who remained behind. Can't say fairer than that.

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