The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

News 2020

Ministers voice concern at "possibly disproportionate" assassination

Yesterday's assassination of the Lebanese Secretary of National Impotence has drawn international expressions of concern from across the international community.

Expressing the concern of the international community, the US Commander-in-Chief called on all sides in the Middle East to exercise restraint.

Speaking from the Oval Bunker this morning, the Commander-in-Chief said that the shooting of Gemayel al-Shatila constituted "yet further proof of the correctuality of the international community's crusade for pragmatic democratisation" in the area.

He also said that, whoever had carried out Mr al-Shatila's detrimentation, Israel was right to stand up to terrorists.

The British Foreign Secretary said that the incident was "a matter of concern for the international community" and called for restraint to be exercised by all sides.

However, he said that the Government would not comment further until the full facts of the case were known.

"We are aware that Mr al-Shatila was shot several dozen times with an automatic weapon, and that his body was nearly cut in half," the Foreign Secretary said when pressed for local colour.

"Obviously, however, a full statement on the matter will have to wait until we know whether or not the incident was shocking and indefensible or merely regrettable and possibly disproportionate, and to know that we will first have to know who it was that carried out this occurrence."

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