The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Friday, December 15, 2006

News 2020

Vice girl killer arms deal claim fury

The suspect on trial for the killing of seventeen prostitutes last year has sparked outrage by claiming to be no worse than an arms dealer.

The man, who cannot be named for copyright reasons, compared his activities to those of Lord Blair of Belmarsh's historical third-term government during its historical third term.

"There are times when the rule of law must be weighed against the national interest," he said, echoing the famous announcement by Lord Blair's attorney general, Simon Goldhandshake, that the then Prime Minister was without stain or taint of sin.

The suspect is accused of strangling seventeen female vice operatives over a period of several front pages and considerable expert psychological analysis. Police experts say that he should receive the maximum possible penalty as he would very likely have gone on to murder real women had he not been arrested.

However, the suspect claims that his motivation was to "make Britain safe for the law-abiding majority" by removing vice and drug addiction from the streets.

The leader of the opposition, Boris Johnson, today called on the Department of Virtue to curtail the suspect's "outrageous publicity-seeking comments".

The Minister for Judiciary Control, Penelope Pinochet-Bronson, responded that the suspect could not be gagged as he is not yet guilty of terrorist offences.

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