The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

News 2012

The only cheap thing about the London Olympics

Flaring passions spark damp squib as anti-Britishness flares
The Olympic Flame was extinguished almost less than eleven times on its journey to the Olympic stadium in Pudding Lane in the Olympic British city of London, organisers revealed today.

The Flame is traditionally carried by a torch held in an athlete.

Protestors and other asbogenic elements infiltrated the crowds lining the streets and succeeded in dousing the flame on several occasions during its journey to the stadium.

Police and Titan™ malefactor disincentivisation contractors intervened several times to prevent disruption, with minimal civilian casualties.

Most of the protestors who could still talk claimed to be protesting about homelessness, high taxes, the food crisis, the energy crisis, the continued "occupation" of Iraq by British troops and the recent collapse of sixteen per cent of southern London into its own sewer system.

The Prime Minister condemned the protests, saying that although there are now more British troops in Iraq than during the fighting, in real terms more troops had been pulled out than ever before.

The Mayor of London, Boris Johnson, blamed the disruption on insufficient police privatisation and "residual public transport fanatics".

The tradition of carrying the Olympic Flame was instigated by Nazi leader Adolf Hitler and immortalised on film by Nazi filmmaker Leni Riefenstahl in a film. After the Nazi defeat, the tradition was retained in order to remind the world of the British rescue of Israelis from the Nazi death camps.

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