Missing in Action

The Middle East erupts in violence
And everybody gets a scare;
The peace envoy is wreathed in silence:
Alas! our Tony isn't there!

As Libyans, Yemeni, Bahraini
Cause horrid drops in stock and share,
We need a statesman, strong and brainy;
Alas! our Tony isn't there!

We know he likes to smack dictators,
Despises those who do not dare.
Gaddafi's troubled with some traitors;
Alas! chum Tony isn't there!

We know he likes to fight with terror,
Kidnap and fly it through the air
To secret sites to cure its error;
But now our Tony isn't there!

It cannot be he feels not needed,
It cannot be he doesn't care.
By what can he have been impeded?
Alas! our Tony isn't there!

He may be off and counting money,
Or doing God, we know not where;
The situation isn't funny,
Because dear Tony isn't there!

Call on him, ye of faith and function!
Human resources everywhere!
Call on his holy healing unction!
Sing out the name of Tony Blair!