The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Brussels London Air Attack Horror

Conservative fury as Britain walks free

The London Haystack has failed to condemn the oily European liberals who have allowed lawbreakers to continue endangering public health.

Someone with a funny name said on Friday that a £300 million fine over London's air quality will be deferred until 11 June.

Six years after the standard was agreed, London is the only region in breach of Europe's air quality directive setting a legal limit on dangerous airborne particles other than public sector workers en route to luxury resorts.

The London Haystack's "firm belief" that his latest envelope-scrawl would meet requirements has been recorded by the Guardian's resident psychic and is thought to be vaguely within the awareness of the mayor himself.

Soup kitchens are being set up for the lines of Conservative spokesbeings now queueing up outside every press office in Britain to denounce European meddling in the English capital's climate.

The Minister for Wogs, Frogs and Huns, Willem den Haag, was busy pouring out his heart to Lord Ashcroft, but an aide said that Tony Blair had cost the country £300 million by not opting out of the agreement in the first place.

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