The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Structural Adjustments

An Involuntary Participant in an Economic Disaster applied to his doctor for relief from his lack of well-being. Because the doctor was also a Trainee Accountant and Junior Financial Efficientiser at various hospitals and related outlets, an appointment was granted after less than seven years.

"What seems to be the trouble?" asked the doctor, when the Involuntary Participant in an Economic Disaster had at last attained admittance to the surgical sanctum.
"The trouble," said the Involuntary Participant in an Economic Disaster, "is that the country is governed by venal incompetents for whose greed and stupidity I pay the price, along with millions of others."
"Very likely," said the doctor; "but I asked you what the trouble seems to be. Diagnosis and treatment of genuine troubles falls, I fear, some considerable distance outside your income bracket."
"In that case," said the Involuntary Participant in an Economic Disaster, "the trouble seems to be that I am morally indignant at the recent past, chronically worried about the present and gnawingly apprehensive of the future."
"Neurosis, anxiety, paranoia," diagnosed the physician, handing the Involuntary Participant in an Economic Disaster a bottle of tablets and a Final Demand. "Take one affiliated pharmaceutical product every four hours and remember that money isn't everything. This service is free at the point of use, so kindly make your payment to the receptionist on your way out."

The Involuntary Participant in an Economic Disaster did as he was told, and had completed almost half the course of tablets when his medical insurance company was bought up by a conglomerate of wealth creators registered in Belize, whereupon he was dismissed from gainful employment in order to improve his productivity and downgraded to Malingerer Second Class.

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