The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Wednesday, September 04, 2013

Dodgy Artful

In one of those real-life incidents where the symbolism is as thick and fast as Michael Gove, the launch of Britain's third Astute-class nuclear submarine has been delayed in case the quay falls apart beneath its weight. The original Astute, it may be remembered, was no sooner completed (over-budget and behind schedule) than it collided with Scotland and had to be towed away by tugs which the Government had only just decided were unnecessary. The second submarine in the class, named Ambush in honour of its function as a keeper of world peace, apparently managed to get to sea without suffering more than its share of British military efficiency; but the third, named Artful after the late defence minister Liam Werritty, will now take up its terrorist-deterring duties only after BAE Systems has investigated the state of the dock, which is in the north of England and hence somewhat decrepit. BAE Systems has promised that, whatever repairs may prove necessary, there will be no further delays in pandering to the nation's continuing imperial delusion.

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