The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Big Shots and Narrow Bores

A Deputy Conservative doormat at the Home Office has been squealing about shotgun licences, for which the taxpayer provides an unwarranted subsidy. The police, who have to cover most of the cost of gun licences out of their own funds, are in favour of increasing users' fees, which have been frozen for thirteen years; Britain's Head Boy, as a fully-paid-up member of the Huntin', Shootin' and Jellyfish-Baitin' fraternity, has apparently blocked any action on the matter, having been alerted by his badger-busting Secretary for Sandbags, Owen Paterson. Remarkably enough, the Deputy Conservative doormat at the Home Office has taken only three and a half years to notice the problem, which has flopped into the public eye mere weeks before the local and European elections. It is possible that, like your correspondent, the Deputy Conservative doormat at the Home Office has received its polling card, and has thereby been reminded that the day is fast approaching when voters will be able to express their appreciation of Wee Nicky and his minions in an uncomfortably concrete and consequential fashion.

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