Foreigners, Look Out

Britain's most senior female police officer, Cressida Dick, has had her CV printed in Britain's leading liberal newspaper under the rubric of journalism. Cressida Dick will be giving up her membership of the Metropolitan Firearms and Headbangers' Club in order to join the Ministry for Wogs, Frogs and Huns. The spawn of two Oxford academics, Dick went to both Oxford and Cambridge and subsequently rose rapidly through the ranks of the police force on merit alone. She was the officer in charge of the operation which ended in the killing and systematic defamation of Jean Charles de Menezes; a jury was denied the option of returning a verdict of unlawful killing and so returned an open verdict and thereby, in the opinion of Britain's leading liberal newspaper, cleared Dick of any blame in the matter. As a mark of respect to de Menezes' loved ones, Dick was quickly promoted to counter-terrorism chief; a job she did so well that, in the opinion of Britain's leading liberal newspaper and the Metropolitan Firearms and Headbangers' Club, the country now faces its most serious terror threat in years.