The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Cockroach Trading

Australia, which for economic vulnerability to the migrant hordes is second only to the United Kingdom, has managed to offload four refugees onto the more wealthy and carefree nation of Cambodia, at a cost of only ten million dollars per cockroach. The poverty-stricken island nation notoriously suffers from its native wog population, whose drinking habits have been dragging the country down ever since the rightful owners arrived over two hundred years ago. Cambodia has said that it will accept only genuine refugees, but the definition of a genuine refugee varies between cultures and it is thought that the Cambodian definition, unlike the more advanced British and Australian, does not exclude people who are still alive. All transfers will have to be made on a "strictly voluntary" basis, so Australia has opened a concentration camp in the South Pacific where asylum seekers are given aggressive incentivisation against following the European explorers' glorious example. It is to be hoped that the lucky winners, a Rohingya and three Iranians, will take the trouble to learn Khmer before attempting to take over their new homeland's public services.

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