The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Friday, June 12, 2015

Mathematical Inexactitude

Almost a quarter of inmates in British prisons are being held in overcrowded conditions. The number was thought to be just under twenty-two per cent, which is of course entirely within the bounds of penological acceptability; but it has now emerged that some prison authorities cannot always count to two. Andrew Selous, the former Duncan Smith minion with responsibility for profitable incarceration, did a bit of a grovel before the House of Claimants and promised to subject future figures to "rigorous quality control". Although he still doesn't know how many real-life prisoners the figures represent, it is just about possible that Andrew Selous' abilities extend as far as bullying a spreadsheet every few months.

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