Constructive Capitulation

Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition is preparing to formalise its semi-official status as one of the parties that doesn't really care to oppose the Government. The non-event was announced today by the interim clapped-out has-been who is leading the party until it can elect a new business-friendly fan of hard-working families with a focus-group taste in pop music. Presumably, it is hoped that the manoeuvre will finally lift Labour from the electoral doldrums and bring the party's credibility closer to its natural level, on a par with the DUP and the Liberal Democrats; whereupon the 2020 election could yield the glory of a grand, wog-bombing, cripple-kicking coalition. After all, Labour tried standing shoulder to shoulder with the Conservatives during the Scottish independence referendum, and that worked out nearly as well as could be expected.