Go Slower With Graybeing

Japan has some of the fastest and most modern trains in the world, so the brilliant Chris Graybeing has decided to try and help the poor things out. A Canadian company with the refreshingly war-winning name of Bombardier builds rolling stock in Derby, which is just about good enough to be flogged to Britain's own fragmented, profiteering shambles of a railway network; so naturally the brilliant Graybeing has ordered the Japanese to start buying it too. "What Chris was saying to the Japanese was, ‘Yes, your train engines are great, but actually your suburban trains are inferior to what’s produced by Bombardier’," babbled a Graybeing spokesbeing. This certainly sounds like the sort of approach that would impress some strange little yellow people, and praise for the Graybeing vision was indeed quick to ooze from the great man's erstwhile coalition colleague Norman Baker, as well as from the doubtless appropriately-surnamed Europhobe James Cleverly. The spokesbeing also proclaimed accurately that, thanks to Tin-Pot Tessie and her minions, "we're probably the world leaders in tunnelling," although the global market for getting into holes and then keeping right on digging is a little overcrowded at the moment.