Exercitia Spiritualia

Heresy-hunters in the Christian state of Kansas have sniffed out another threat to the faithful, namely the ancient, lurking evil that is yoga. The Benedictine College has just discovered that the practice includes not only bending and stretching exercises, but a spiritual dimension which is tainted with Eastern mysticism and comes highly recommended by the Beast himself. As always when the children of God permit themselves knowledge outside the purview of Mussolini's artificial city-state, hideous blasphemies and horrid apostasy can be the only possible result: "It is a mind and body practice developed under Hinduism, the goal of which is spiritual purification that will lead to a higher level of understanding and eventually union with the divine," shuddered the chancellor for the Archdiocese of Kansas City. Since the Catholic church has no truck with higher understanding or union with the divine, the Benedictine College is now encouraging its flock to seek out ways of bending and stretching their bodies without exercising their spirits.