The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Friday, July 28, 2017

Purely Moral

Genetic researchers have uncovered further evidence that the Canaanite genocide, as ordered by Jehovah and gleefully reported in the Old Testament, may be one of the purely moral, as opposed to historical, portions of the Bible. The archaeological record seems to indicate that the Hebrew colonisation was a slower and stealthier affair than the glorious struggle for Lebensraum depicted in the annals of the Saviour's ancestors and emulated with pious relish by so many of His loving followers. Even the gospel of Matthew implies the presence of holocaust survivors, as Jesus is depicted refusing help to an anxious mother and calling her a dog; the Saviour's vaunted mercy makes an appearance only after the woman has the presence of mind to grease its passage with flattery. The Canaanites were noted explorers and traders, with somewhat wider horizons than the fanatical bumpkins with whom the Old Testament myths presumably originated; they are even credited with inventing the first alphabet, which was no doubt something else the minions of Jehovah held against them.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home