The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Saturday, September 23, 2017

Holy Water

As often happens in the wake of natural or unnatural disaster, the recent meteorological doings in God's own country have brought forth appropriate theological profundities. A congressman by name of Jeb Hensarling, representing the Christian state of Texas, has proclaimed that floods are the Deity's way of informing Americans that their personal real estate is no longer a marketable proposition. Since the Deity is, miraculously enough, a Republican in the image of Jeb Hensarling, the inevitable moral corollaries clearly follow. First, recipients of federal aid tend to be millionaire beach bums having their home extensions subsidised by hard-working families in Kansas, no matter what mere facts may have to say about the matter; and second, federal insurance programmes should therefore be privatised, presumably in order to prevent those same millionaires buying them up for their own nefarious ends. Noah managed without federal aid; should not therefore the sons of Ham do likewise?

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